Author's Note: I write this from the perspective of time, not anger. These experiences shaped my understanding of work, and self-respect, and that informed me how I raised my children and move through the world. This is not a call to action or a compliant, it is simply a record of how I chose to stand, and how standing quietly can still be powerful.
I entered medical management in 1980, at a time when professionalism was expected of women and restraint was not always expected of men.
I worked in 800 bed hospital, primarily alongside male physicians. Many were exceptional, skilled, respectful, and deeply committed to their work. Others were not. That contrast became clear early on.
It was not unusual, if I found myself alone with the doctor in an elevator, for him to stop it and ask for sexual favor. I always declined, calmly, without embarrassment, without apology, and I started the elevator. I did not shame. I did not escalate. I did not comply.
There was never force. But there was expectation.
I understood something then that time has only confirmed: advancement earn through favors is temporary. Authority gained that way does not endure. I watched careers rise quickly and disappear just as fast. I chose another path.
I never reported these encounters. I never carried them into the workplace. I worked in critical care, collaborated closely with Physicians I respected, and kept my focus on competence. When an "accidental" touch occurred, i responded with Excuse me, as if the fault were mine, because in that era, composure was often safer been confrontation. I love my work. I understood the cost of reaction. I paid it quietly.
I did well in medicine.
Later, needing greater autonomy to raise six children on my own, I earned my real estate license and became a broker in 1995. The industry was different, that the posture was familiar. Men still believed they control the room.
I heard language meant to diminish and reduce. One phase, " she carries her briefcase between her legs" was spoken casually, as if it were clever. I protected myself with composure, boundaries, And precision.
When a builder once said, " if you sleep with me, i'll give you all my listings," I replied evenly, "You don't have enough listings for me to sleep with you." It was not said to insult him, but to end the conversation, clearly and finally.
Again, I did well.
I raised my children while building a career. I provided stability, opportunity, and standards. We were not perfect, but we were intentional. My children grew into capable, successful adults. They remain close to me. They still seek my counseling.
Once, while renting equipment, I was told, "You need a man and a truck." i politely left. At the next rental company, the manager laughed and said, "We Don't care who you are, just bring it back on time." He loaded it into my car.
Progress often looks like that, quiet, practical, undeniable.
It is still a man's world, but it is no longer the same one. I did not challenge it with outrage or slogans. I navigated it with boundaries, intelligence, and resolve.
I did not trade myself to succeed.
And I succeeded anyway.
This piece is preserved as a personal record of lived experience. It is written without bitterness and without apology.